It’s been a while. I’ll start by saying 2018 was hard for me. To be honest, it was the first year where I was really adulting on my own. I don’t mean having a job, and paying bills, and balancing time. I mean, doing it on my own, and for myself, and being intentional. When I turned 25, life really hit me in the face. I realized where I was at in life wasn’t where 10-year old me had planned. Yes, I’ve traveled to some amazing places, made some of my favorite memories, and got close to some amazing people. But, life isn’t all fun and games. How you view things and set yourself up are huge parts to that.
Last year, I got on here and talked about my resolutions for 2018. I talked about being positive, saying yes more, getting to 2 workout classes a week, and finding a church. If you know me, you know I always change my mind and I’m super indecisive. So, when it comes to setting longer-term goals, it stresses me out. I’m happy to say I did every. single. one. and I’m so proud of myself for it. I even got my real estate license – something I’ve been wanting to do for years. It was more than a resolution, but a lifestyle change.
I’ve been busier than ever, which is part of why I haven’t been on here in a bit. But, I’ve had a hard time collecting my thoughts over the past month or two. Being positive is a huge part of my life – see When Life Gives You Lemons, Saying Yes Will Change Your Life, Follow Your Heart with Caution, If It’s Not Good It’s Not Done, Positive Thoughts Will Transform You.
I love having a positive mindset, and it always makes me feel better. Naturally, I’m an optimistic person, but life isn’t always happy. It’s a huge flaw of mine to block things out of my life. Hurt, negative feelings, memories, people. Instead of working through things, I pass over them. It’s not always the best idea, because negative feelings, hurt, memories, and people, are still there. You can’t drive around traffic, you can’t ignore the weeds in your garden, you can’t forget to go to work day after day, and you can’t ignore life. So, that’s what I’ve been up to – working through, instead of around.
Self-help is one of my favorite things to read and talk about. If you’re looking to better yourself, I highly recommend starting with your heart and mind. Everything else you do will be reflective of that. So if you’re in the same boat as me, or just want to better yourself, here are a few things that I’ve been doing.
Tips to Reset Your Mind
- Read You Are a Badass
- Go to + join a church – I go to Shoreline
- Journal daily – A Moment to Breathe
- Play Music (I play ukulele)
- Listen to music that helps you connect with your mind (here’s one I’ve been liking lately)
- FRIENDS – be open, tell them how you feel and what you need, then pour into them
likethey do into you – really get to know them
- Travel – there is nothing like making new happy memories, exploring new cultures, and getting that mental refresh
- Keep notes on your phone of memories – good and bad so that when you start to think of sad memories, you can remember why they’re memories, and can read positive quotes when you need them
- Counseling – whether it be with someone you trust, or a professional. Talk it out and come to a conclusion of next steps
- Understand yourself – take a personality test, check in with your mind, and figure out how you operate
I’ve taken a few different personality tests this year. All of them have been wildly accurate. So accurate, there were some things in there I didn’t realize about myself, but when I read them, it made so much sense. It’s actually helped me realize some of the thought changes I’ve been needing to make. Highly recommend the Enneagram test, color test, and Myers Briggs. I’m a 7, 4, 9, yellow over red, and ENFJ.
As a 7, I’m energetic, lively, and optimistic. I’m spontaneous, outspoken, and like to take on new adventures. I have a hard time completing things I start, feeling confined, getting lost in fantasies, and feeling like I don’t have enough time. As a 4, I can establish deep connections with people, have a sense of humor, am unique, and admire what’s beautiful in life. But, I can also expect too much of myself.
I’m a yellow over red, meaning that I’m a Doing Socializer. I interact and engage, but also take action and get work done. I’m people-focused, see the good in people, have a positive attitude,
I’m an ENFJ (Extraverted, iNtuition, Feelings, Judging). Breaking it down by strengths I am tolerant, reliable, charismatic, altruistic, and a leader. By weaknesses, I am overly idealistic, spread myself too thin, have
Some of these things, I’ve known about myself, but never knew how to put it onto paper. Some of these personality sites even give suggestions on how to combat your weaknesses. Leave a comment below to let me know what kind of personality types you are!
What I’ve Learned at Shoreline
Shoreline has been
Earl and Oneka have the best hearts and I’m seriously so thankful to have found Shoreline – thanks
- Stop avoiding the pain of growth
- Like olives, you have to be pressed in order to be more valuable
- We are the clay, He is the potter
- The clay doesn’t get to show or tell the potter how it wants to be shaped
- You can’t plant something in your life and expect it to grow perfectly. It needs water, soil, and sunlight, but it also needs to be cut, and pruned, and needs fertilizer in order to grow
- You have to go through some shit to grow
- He is a part of all of us – so when we say we can’t do something, we typically think of what we, as humans can’t do, when we should be thinking of what He can do. Look to what God has already put inside of us
- Jesus walks through the fire with us. It sounds painful, but fire allows us to
burnthings off that you didn’t realize you need
- You are called to take ground. Do not settle
- Don’t put up gates – that’s a defensive strategy. We are all called to be offensive – don’t just pray for it, then don’t act on it, GO for it.
- You can’t score if you don’t shoot
- Don’t be a convenient spirit, be a called spirit
- Jesus gave us a spirit of power, love, and self-control
- We are not meant to be led by emotions. Don’t let your behavior trump who you are in Jesus
- We are all middlemen. We are meant to deliver and give hope and compassion
- Luke 22: 39-44
- Matthew 26:7, 12-13
- Psalm 92:12-15
- Ephesians 4:13-16
- Daniel 1:6-7
- Colossians 1:9-12
- Daniel 1:13-18
- John 15:16
- Daniel 3:30
- Romans 8:30-39
So, as I’ve learned more and more about myself this past year, and how to set myself up for a better mental future, I’ve been thinking what 2019’s resolutions would be. I had a lofty list last year, and am planning to continue that. My plate has been full lately. I’m content with where I’m at, but I feel like I’ve been moving miles a minute. So, I’ve committed to ‘stopping and smelling the roses’.
It’s easy to get through your checklist of items and to feel accomplished. So, I’ve decided to soak in that. What’s the point of checking something off, if you can’t be content and happy with what you’ve done. While I am all about ‘saying yes’, I also am looking to learn how to be selective with my ‘yeses’. Of course, I will still say yes, a lot. Saying yes is what makes those memories and connections that we crave. At the same time, I am learning not to be afraid to say no to avoid pushing myself. So, when I say to ‘say yes more’, keep that in mind!